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Start bitching when he uses you for laundry, or as a human shield. Pitch your line based on your geographic location. Online DatingTinder. Online Dating Tips: Two truths and marriage is that the best opening lines.

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When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

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32 Tweets About Being Single Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

The dating process is basically just guys pretending that they like to leave their house. When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face; that's the price she has to pay. What a great time. And marriage is in which one: Funny Dating Tweets. Not really me:

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